


Sakata Gintoki and The Magical World He Doesn’t Want To Bother Saving

by Lyra_Dhani



Category: Gintama, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drabble, Gen, Gintoki is the Chosen One, Gintoki takes over Harry Potter role, He's just that awesome, It's gintama after all, The rest of the cast will show up too, This story probably doesn't make any sense
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-14 21:43:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13598967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyra_Dhani/pseuds/Lyra_Dhani
Summary: Unluckily for this world, instead of a boy with messy black hair, they got a boy with permed head instead.





	1. If you want to run away, don't forget to bring all your evil uncle's money with you

In another world, a boy with messy black hair was born, bearing thousand lives and star-crossing fate. His childhood would be harsh and lonely, his cousin was a bully and the whole neighborhood stayed away from him, but he would live, growing up as a sweet-not-quite-naive child. He knew hardship and misery, thus he understood compassion and bravery. His eyes dimmed over years, slowly losing its innocence but nothing could shatter it completely. He didn’t always made the right choice, as the unspoken dreams and silent words always shook him, but when the time came he would knew by heart what to choose, and in the end that was what truly mattered. His life would be a wonderful story, a legend passed from generations to generations.

Unluckily for this world, instead of a boy with messy black hair, they got a boy with permed head instead.

Because here was the universal truth: Gintoki lived by his _own_ rules. The past didn’t matter and there was no use for worrying the future. He didn’t want to be a savior or shit like that and he certainly didn’t care about the thousand lives who selfishly hung their lives on his shoulder.

Much like in another world, Gintoki had a strange childhood. Suddenly appearing in the rooftop when his bully cousin was chasing him and despairingly having the same constant permed head despite his aunt’s attempt to straighten it, those kind of things were common in his life. People calling him freak and staying away from him was common too and even though Gintoki didn’t want to admit, the solitude actually hurt a lot.

It was pretty much the only thing that Harry Potter and Sakata Gintoki shared in common.

Before long, Gintoki snapped and had _enough_. The overweight pigs didn’t feed him much and they kept ordering him around (not that he would obey).

He climbed to the roof and looked up at the star. The next day would be his first day at school and Gintoki knew that it wouldn’t improve his situation at all.

Thus, he did the only thing he could think of.

He ran away.

Carefully preparing everything and brought all his uncle’s money with him, Gintoki ran away and never looked back. Not even once.

Later, when he bumped into a suspicious dark-cloaked figure and suddenly get attacked then almost died right there in the side road, Gintoki reflected that maybe it wasn’t a good idea after all.

What came after that was a series of bad choices and mistakes.

Ha, what? You seriously didn’t expect Sakata fucking Gintoki to behave well then happily shipped to Hogwart, did you?

In another world, a boy with messy black hair was born, bearing thousand lives and star-crossing fate. His childhood would be harsh and lonely, but when the time came, when the boy faced his first day of school, he didn’t think of running away.

Gintoki, on the other hand, couldn’t stand the thought of staying in that house any longer. He knew it was the wrong choice, heck, he had predicted that he would probably be dead, or worse, _mugged_ , the moment he went out five step away from the house.

But, it would be a beautiful life he had living on.

Gintoki got up and stared blankly at his bloody hand. Everything was red and he felt numb somehow.

“You’re the Boy-Who-Lived, the boy who killed the Dark Lord?” the figure sneered. “Well, you won’t be the Boy-Who-Lived for much longer.”

As if.

Gintoki wouldn’t easily let himself rotting in the side road, dying meaninglessly. He would _fight_. In his heart, he could feel his soul burning.

 

When Gintoki came back to his sense, the sky had turned orange. He never had the chance to appreciate how beautiful sunrise was before. Probably because he was too busy burning all his uncle’s boxers and expose all his aunt’s embrassing photos to the public ( _ah, good ol’ memories_ ).

The next thing he noticed was the dead body.

Gintoki threw up immediately. The magical wooden stick was in his grip when he woke up and with it, he burn the body until nothing but ashes remained.

He got up, his legs shaking, and threw up again.

Gintoki walked as far away as possible from the crime scene, not caring about the destination, he just wanted to ~~run away~~ forget.

 

Children weren’t supposed to kill. It messed up their mind and broke somehing in them permanently.

Gintoki at least knew that much. Maybe it was why he didn’t feel anything when he killed those people who attacked him. He was supposed to feel something, wasn’t he?

What had gone missing?

His stomach grumbled and the important question immediately vanished from his mind.

The wind was whispering, _Corpse-Eating Demon_ , and Gintoki tilted his head, listening to its song. It almost sounded like a prayer.

The world was losing its color and Gintoki crouched down, looking for foods among the gruesome dead bodies.

 

Meeting Shoyou was a surprise. Mostly because any other person would have been dead before they could even open their mouth. The dudes who could utter one sentence or two before dropping dead were luckier.

(“Don’t you want to know who you are?” A man said, looking afraid and desperate. “Don’t you want to know why the Death Eaters want to kill you?”

Gintoki swung his magical wooden stick. It was, he reflected later, probably another wrong choice.)

And yet, the man with the long hair easily sneaked up on him and even patted his head.

Gintoki pointed his magical wooden stick at him.

The man was blabbering nonsense now, calling him an adorable demon, then threw his own stick at him.

_Not using the wand correctly_ , the man had said. _Come with me_.

And Gintoki did.

When the colors of the world returned to him, Gintoki breathed a sigh of relief as he knew that he had made the right choice.


	2. children could be the most cruelest villain ever exist and people will still thought of them as rays of sunshine and rainbow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Heavenly Kings, they were called.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like the chapter's title. I have new member in my family. My brother's daughter had just been born a few weeks ago. I only saw her picture and I already thought 'my darling, i am gonna protect you forever'. I'll see her next week. Looking forward to it. She's the most adorable thing ever.

It was weird how three first year students could be the center of attention so quickly that a week after the sorting ceremony, everybody within the wall of Hogwarts had known their name. The fellow first year students looked up at them with admiration (except Slytherin who was too prideful to show it) and blind love. Heck, half of them even worshipped the ground they walked into. The senior students, while some of them could be just as bad, weren’t so blind that they didn’t notice Katsura’s ridiculous quirks, Takasugi’s stubborn attitude, and Gintoki being... Gintoki. But they still treated them with (bedrudging) respect, acknowledging their power, their raw skill and potential. The Heavenly Kings, they were called.

Meanwhile the teachers who had seen so much in their lifetime saw them as the children they were.

And looking past through the apathetic mask Gintoki sometimes slipped into, the invisible barrier Takasugi built around himself, and the pressure Katsura carried on his small shoulder, one would be able to understand that they weren’t Kings at all.

This worried Otose so much because it seemed she was the only one who noticed the weird grand illusion casted upon them. It was almost like magic, except it wasn’t, and that made it all the more difficult, more _heart-breaking,_ to cast it away.

Gintoki, for all his observant nature, didn’t seem to understand that his fellow students would listen to everything he told them to. Takasugi was even more ignorant, despite having loyal followers who called themselves Kiheitai. Katsura was just bad, if not worse.

And it seems no one realized Gintoki’s darkening eyes when they mentioned _Boy-Who-Lived_ , or Takasugi’s tensed shoulder as they talked about his pureblood family, or Katsura’s polite empty smile as they praised him and said how great he was.

They were three lonely children and that was obvious in the way Gintoki went unnaturally still when people crowded him too much, the stiff expression on Katsura’s face when his friends offered to help, and the glaring scowl Takasugi gave to anyone who dared to approach him. And yet no one noticed. _No one_.

.

.

Their friendship was a strange one. Close relationship of kids from different House was almost unheard of, much less from different backgrounds.

Even now, the students looked at the trio arguing and bickering with wonder and puzzlement as they tried to wrap their minds around the fact that a Gyffindor, a Slytherin, and a Ravenclaw were sitting and eating together in one table. Sometimes they ate at Slytherin’s table, ignoring the whispered insults and death glares. Sometimes they ate at Ravenclaw’s, not minding the calculative gazes. Sometimes they ate at Gryffindor’s, not exactly making friends but not exactly isolating themselves either.

More often than not, they didn’t show up at Great Hall, disappearing to God know where.

.

Gintoki was as great at Transfiguration as he was at making ruckus. He pranked teachers, students, and ghosts alike on regular basis, and it seemed no amount of detention or point reduction could stop him. Otose didn’t want to admit it but by the tenth time Gintoki entered her office and wrote lots of essay as a punishment for painting the Great Hall blue (“This castle needs renovation!”), she had grown fond of the boy.

The more Otose saw him, the more Gintoki’s face resembled her husband’s. Brave, reckless, and charming. True Gryffindors, indeed, with their heart as wide as the sea.

The more Otose saw him, the more Gintoki’s face resembled her dead husband’s, smiling with mouth full of blood, struggling to stay awake long enough to say _I love you_. War had taken a lot things from her and she wished there would be no more war for her to lose even more.

But Gintoki looked like he had gone through one himself. That would explain the excellent magic skill, the paranoia haunting his eyes, and the all-too-familiar shadow in his eyes.

Otose couldn’t say anything, though. Yoshida Shoyou had made it clear that Gintoki was important for the future, bearing the fate of the world.

“But he’s just a child,” she whispered softly. Shoyou looked sad and somehow, _pitying_. “He’s not some sort of savior.”

Shoyou smiled, as if she just said something funny. “No, he isn’t. If anything, he’s more like a demon. And if he choose to burn the world down with him-” his smile softened. “Then burning it shall be.”

.

.


	3. who cares about fate when you have free food?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He sighed, his back aching and he was very, very tired.

“It’s not fair,” Takasugi said. He played with the sausages in his plate sulkily. “You will play as the youngest house player in history while I am rotting away in Professor Oboro’s office.”

 “You deserve it,” Katsura said with a frown. “That was dangerous, Takasugi. Your little game has crossed the line.”

Gintoki smiled. Katsura was wrong. First of all, Takasugi never challenged Gintoki half-heartedly. He never thought of it as a game.

Second, even though they used the broom without permission, Gintoki was pretty sure they didn’t cross any line. Takasugi challenged Gintoki to fly because he was confident. He knew that neither of them would fall.

Gintoki didn’t bother to explain it, though. Katsura could understand. He was Katsura, after all.

“I never like him,” Takasugi said, voice lowering into a whisper. He stabbed his chocholate cake with his fork, so much venom in his motion.

“Who? Professor Oboro?” Katsura raised an eyebrow.

“There’s just something... off about him.”

Gintoki, who was in the middle of eating his parfait, paused. There was indeed something strange about Oboro.

Someone snickered mockingly to his left, and Gintoki ignored it. The Slytherin brats were sure as hell an unpleasant bunch. Unlike the Ravenclaws or the Hupplepuffs who simply looked at the three of them eating together in their table curiously, the Slytherins were outright hostile.

Most of them stared openly at Gintoki with disdain. The look they gave to Katsura was filled with even more disgust. Gintoki could never understand them.

But Gintoki sat at wherever he liked and if the Slytherins really didn’t want him and Katsura eating at their table, they should have said it to his face.

.

.

“Now, isn’t this interesting?” Gintoki leaned back as the seemingly soft creature stared curiously at him.

 A holy dog. The misterious fobidden floor. Trolls casually wandering around the hall of Hogwart as if it was their home.

He sighed, his back aching and he was very, very _tired_.

There were questions. So many questions to which most of them Shoyou didn’t seem inclined to answer. If Gintoki could ignore it, though, he definitely would. He wasn’t curious why the teacher whose face covered in mosaics (and name he couldn’t remember) had a particularly nasty stuff at the back of his head, almost perfectly hidden behind uh... layers of mosaic. He didn’t want to know what Shoyou tried to hid, what chemical stuff Oboro had secretly made in his office, or why Otose ordered a very huge chess board recently. Nope, he didn’t want to have anything to do with it.

Gintoki rubbed his head. It seemed he got another headache. He got up and threw a piece of meat at the holy dog. “Buddy, if anyone asks, tell them we never meet, okay?”

The holy dog chewed his head as a respond.

 

“What have you found?” Katsura asked two hours later, when Gintoki was all cleaned up and didn’t look like being just run over by a truck.

Katsura’s room was tidy and full of books. Gintoki supposed that was just how a Ravenclaw was supposed to be. His own room, on the other hand, was completely messy. Right now, all his roomates were probably complaining about the stuff he carelessly left on the floor.

He said so to Katsura. “Can I stay here?”

Katsura raised an eyebrow. “Only if you explain to me everything in details.”

“It’s a long story, Zura. You see, it started when I was born-“

“Not that detailed! And my name isn’t Zura!”

“Fine. Here’s the simple story: I found a wild dog,” Gintoki hopped into Katsura’s bed. “Zura, how good you are at playing chess?”

“Not so good. But Takasugi is really great at it, I think. What does it have to do with anything?”

“Ah... Ravenclaw sure has a nice a dorm. I want to stay here forever, Zura.”

“Oi, answer my question-“

“I don’t want to stay in Slytherin’s dorm right now.”

Katsura didn’t ask anymore question after that.

If he weren’t so tired, he wouldn’t have said it. It was a mistake and in any other day, Gintoki would froze at his own display of weakness. He was so distracted, everything was spinning and the headache didn’t want to go away. It was a miracle he managed to come all the way here.

That night, he dreamed of the green light, a woman was screaming in the distant. He woke up panting, his hands sweaty, with a persistance headache that didn’t really go away even after a full night sleep.

His first thought was, _Damn, I have to get rid of that bastard real quick._

.

.

Gintoki did it. He got rid of the bastard. He stared at the white ceiling, his mind blanked out for a moment.

“What are you going to do now?” Zenzou asked, not bothering to look up from his Jump. “You won. The bad guy is dead. But You-Know-Who-“ His eyes narrowed. “He’s still around.”

Gintoki sat up. “How much do you know?”

“I think you really overstimate my ability.”

“Stop joking around. You’re going to inherit your family’s legacy, aren’t you? Just help me here. Gin-san needs help. I’ll pay you more money.”

Zenzou shook his head. “You don’t get it. That’s not how it works. The information I gave you was pure luck on your part. And you should be grateful that Sarutobi likes you.”

“Grateful my ass,” Gintoki grumbled. “Do something about her. She creeps me out.”

It was still a mistery how Sarutobi came to like him so much. Gintoki helped him exactly once and the natou-loving masochist had been acting weird around him since then. Women were strange creatures.

Zenzou got up. “Anyway, there’s really nothing I can do about You-Know-Who,” he smiled wryly. “But if I found something, I’ll make sure to tell you.”

Before he stepped out of the room, Zenzou asked, “What are you going to do to the Dragon?”

Gintoki didn’t answer.

There were too many questions. It wasn’t as if Gintoki knew all the answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slow updates. Please be patient with me


	4. who wouldn't want a flying scooter?

There were always shadows everywhere he looked. It felt like they were going to swallow him whole, dragging him down with them to the place that no one could see.

It would be nice if he could be invisible.

But, then, that would have been no different with giving up.

He was the _General_. Nothing could hurt him. He wouldn’t give up.

But in the end he was just a twelve-years old kid that didn’t matter much to the world.

He was still the General, though. And Katsura Koutarou would always be the General until his life ended.

“Freak,” one of the shadows, a jerkass whose name Katsura didn’t bother to remember, sneered at him, the rest of the kids laughed along. Katsura coudn’t hold back a snort. The jerk’s body was bigger and noticeably had more muscles and yet he still had to bring his entire gang to beat up a kid.

The guy swung his hand, his palm balled into a fist, and Katsura greeted his teeth, readying himself for the pain.

“Wait!” Katsura yelled.

“What is it, Katsura? Finally begging for your life?”

“There’s a cake floating in the ceiling,” he frowned, wondering if the pain finally getting to his head. “Cakes don’t do that... right?”

When the bullies looked up, following his line of sight, the cake already fall down, slammed down into the big guy’s face.

.

.

Gintoki held his chin, staring intently at the duck-ish creature who stared back unblinkingly.

“So, what do you think, Gintoki?” Katsura asked. “What is he?”

“You said this little guy punished himself when he tried to give you information right?”

Katsura nodded.

“Then this little guy must be a fucking masochist.”

The creature slapped him. With a wooden board.

“You deserve it, Gintoki,” Katsura said. “Elizabeth is pure and innocent, he’s not like you.”

There were a lot of things Gintoki would like to comment about that, like why would anyone named their pet Elizabeth, and that from the way the little guy taunted him with his stare from behind Katsura there was no way he was pure at all, and that the awesome Sakata Gintoki wasn’t a masochist. But right now there was obviously more important matters to bring up. “Katsura, how the fuck do you get into my home?”

“Anyway, Elizabeth said that he had to meet you.”

“Oi, don’t ignore me.”

“He said that you shouldn’t go to Hogwart.”

Gintoki picked his nose nonchanantly. “Yeah, good point. That’s also what I think whenever I see the holy dog which currently staying in my house.”

As if hearing his name being called, Sadaharu howled on the floor above them.

Katsura gave him a ridiculous look. “You’re serious.”

“Yeah, the holy dog has nowhere to stay and the chick is really attached to him, so there’s nothing I can say.”

“Not that,” Katsura sighed again. “I mean you’re serious about not going to Hogwart.”

“I can feel it, Zura. It’s my unlucky year.”

“It’s Katsura.”

“I feel like the bones in my arm going to vanish, my face getting smashed into a tree, my beloved scooter-“ There was a faint soft beeping sound coming from outside. “which is as innocent as a newborn baby getting its ass beaten to shit. In fact, I will be so unlucky someone can make a thick book of it and make it best-seller.”

“It can’t be that bad.”

Gintoki snorted. “The living proof is currently upstair-” he winced when he heard a loud _thud_ followed by Kagura’s shrill voice. “-probably trashing my bedroom as we speak.”

 _No, it’s not just that_.

He could still remember the taste of the potion in the tip of tongue, as if it was just yesterday Takasugi risked his life in a stupid chess. There was no way they could forget.

“But Sensei said Hogwart is the safest place in the magical world.”

“Zura, our Defense teacher died Infinity-War-style and he had the enemy with him right under Shoyou’s nose all those times.”

And Shoyou, powerful as he was, must have noticed it from the very start.

He had let it _happened_. He had let three of his students playing his game with their lives at stake. He had known and still had the audacity to smile at him and avoided his questions as if Katsura hadn’t been presented with potions mixed with dangerous poison.

(It was at a time like these, Gintoki could feel _something else_ from Shoyou. Not the warmth, not the brightness, just this plain creeping feeling that made him felt so small.)

Gintoki loved Shoyou but he wasn’t going to lost the bones in his arm just because of his nonsense.

“Putting it aside-“

“Don’t put it aside-“

“You said this guy is the one who’s been messing with our mails, right?”

“Yeah, he thought if you didn’t get letters from your friends, you wouldn’t go to Hogwart,” Katsura patted Elizabeth’s back who fiddled with his fingers(?) guiltily. “But he made a mistake and messing up mine and Takasugi’s as well.”

Wow, that sounded like a potential disaster which would ended up with a bludger chasing him around with the clear intention of smashing face.

“Alright, It’s decided. Let’s go, Zura.”

“It’s Katsura,” Katsura tilted his head. “To where?”

Gintoki grinned. “To Young Master Takasugi’s home, of course!”

“But you don’t have brooms.”

“I have a scooter.”

“You do know how to ride it right?”

Gintoki simply smirked.

.

.

“You don’t know how to ride this, do you!” Takasugi heard Katsura screamed close to his ears.

What were they doing, he wondered. Flying in the middle of the night in Gintoki’s attempt at killing them. Takasugi’s teeth chattering, bracing himself againts the cold. If Gintoki didn’t kill them tonight, the cold certainly would.

“What is this?” Takasugi pointed at Elizabeth who sat at the jog.

“It’s Elizabeth,” Katsura said, which didn’t answer his question at all.

“It’s a mashocistic duck-is fairy,” Gintoki said from the front seat.

“Oh, guys, it’s just a house-elf wearing strange costume.”

‘It’s not a strange costume!’ the house-elf wrote in his board.

“What’s a house-elf, Takasugi?”

Takasugi wasn’t sure he wanted to have this conversation where they had to scream at the top of their lungs and wheezing and probably would die at any moment.

“Slow the fuck down, Gintoki!” Katsura’s voice started to sound hoarse.

“I have it all under control!” Gintoki yelled, barely avoiding a tree. “Why do we have to run away like this, anyway? Why did your parent lock you up?”

“They were punishing me because I had fight with other kids.”

“Takasugi, you’re so immature.”

“I don’t want to hear it from you.”

“Shut up and focus on the road!”

Despite the cold and deadly ride, Takasugi felt like he hadn’t felt this refreshed in a long time.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Tatsuma closed his book as someone stepped out of the shadow. The Shiroyasha was totally different from the rumour, he didn’t emit any powerful aura like the boys had gossiped. If only ones had a strong will to look past Shiroyasha’s barrier then they would have definitely saw what he was seeing right now.

Tatsuma supposed anyone would have looked like a madman if one of their friends turned into a statue and the other was under dark influence with almost no hope for coming out alive.

“You’ve figured everything out?”

Tatsuma throw a card at him which Gintoki catched with no difficulty. “I have. Are you ready?”

“For what?”

“For the giant snake, of course.”

Instead of fear that Tatsuma expected, Gintoki only showed resignation. “Of course,” Gintoki pinched his nose. “Go to Hogwart, they said. It’s the safest place, they said.”

.

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't think too hard about it. This story doesn't suppose to make sense


End file.
